Chapter 21
Even God Can Make a Mistake
(Ó
2010)
Logan had just come up to the Cuban soldiers who were checking the passports of all passengers before they entered the main concourse of the Jose Marti International Airport. He placed his medium sized carry on bag on the floor and presented his French passport to them. Always cooperative, always congenial and always friendly with these authorities is what has always helped him to get through this process easily and with no problems in all his past trips to Cuba and the Caribbean. The soldier scanned Logan’s French passport and saw the stamps that had been placed from his trips there over the past years. The soldier, once satisfied, then gave Logan back his passport and motioned for him to proceed. Logan took his passport, smiled at the soldier and cordially thanked him, then picked up his bag. He thought to himself that they are probably not use to people being so nice to them, and even they appreciate being treated with some sort of courtesy and respect. If the “Golden Rule” was ever to be proven to be the proper way, showing it to these soldiers of Castro was the way to do so.
He then made his way through the International Terminal, looked to his wristwatch and saw that he still had over an hour and a half before he would have to report to his gate. He then went to a one of the small shops to look through what periodicals were available. Once there he quickly noticed an international sports publication that reported on soccer and other world sports. He picked up a the magazine and a copy of GRAMMA, the Cuban newspaper. He knew that any news and opinion columns would be biased in favor of Castro and the “Revolution”, but he had some sort of faith that even the communists could not lie about sporting events. On the other hand, could they?
He then became aware of the sweet smell of tobacco in the store. He looked around and found that the store had a humidor in the back. He stepped over and gave a look inside. There sitting there as if waiting for him was a box of the short, dark, sweet Cohiba cigars that he would, once in awhile, indulge in. He thought to himself how nice it would be to have those and smoke them on the beach once he was in Georgetown. He summoned over the desk clerk, pointed, and told him in Spanish that he would like to purchase the whole box. The clerk then quickly retrieved the box of cigars and met Logan back at the purchase desk. He paid for the cigars and his periodicals with some of his Canadian cash. He then offered one of the cigars to the store clerk who smiled and happily took one.
Logan then placed the box of cigars in his carry on bag, took his newspaper and magazine, then stepped back out into the concourse. The floors of the concourse were highly polished and reflected all of the daylight around. He found a place to sit near his gate, sat down and then opened the sports magazine. He started feeling anticipation as he began to read. He first looked to see the news from the French Football League and the standings. He checked on the news of Paris St. Germain in Ligue 1, then of AC Ajaccio and SC Bastia in Ligue 2. He felt the eagerness now of knowing that he would be returning to Europe in the next few days, and that he would once again be able to see all his favorite teams and be in the football atmosphere.
He did attend a few of the matches with the new Major League Soccer league and the local team the Chicago Fire. However, it just wasn’t the same as it was in Europe, the ambiance of the stadiums, with the singing of the songs and the chanting. It wasn’t the same like FC Barcelona in the Spanish League, or AC Milan in Italy, or of the UEFA league in Europe.
He found himself now very engrossed in the magazine, so much, so that he never even noticed the woman and child sit down directly in front of him. He kept reading on, until he felt something gently grabbing on to his leg.
He looked away from his magazine and down to his leg, there he saw a beautiful little infant girl, maybe one year of age. She had golden blonde hair and blue eyes. She had one of her little hands on his knee while supporting herself with her other on the seat next to him. She was looking back up and Logan smiling at him with two top teeth and two bottoms. “Well hello, who are you?” Logan asked to her in a joyful tone.
“Nr., Nr., kein Rebekah,” (No, no, no Rebekah), said the woman sitting across from him, in German, “stören Sie nicht diesen netten Mann.” (do not bother that nice man). The woman was obviously the little girls’ mother.
“OH-, ist sie nicht eine Störung an allen.” (Oh, she is not a bother at all.) Logan said to the woman. “Mein Lord ist sie überhaupt schön.” (My Lord is she ever beautiful).
“Vielen Dank” (Thank you very much), the woman said, “So können Sie Deutsches sprechen.” (So, you can speak German.)
“Ja ja kann ich. Was ist ihr Name?” (Yes, yes I can. What is her name?)
“Rebekah Sarah.” The mother answered.
“Rebekah Sarah?” Logan said as he looked down to the infant girl who smiled at him as he said her name, “Ein was für schöner Name und wenn Sie jene blauen Augen halten, Ihr Vater ist, der geht, Mühe zu haben, wenn Sie älter sind.” (What a beautiful name, and if your keep those blue eyes your father is going to have trouble when you are older.)
The little girl now placed both her hands on Logan’s knee. She continued smiling up at him and then look to her mother as if to seek her approval, then she looked back up to Logan.
“OH- mag sie Sie.” (Oh, she likes you.) The mother said. “Haben Sie Kinder?” (Do you have children?)
Logan smiled solemnly, “Nr., bin ich traurig, zu sagen, daß meine Frau und ich nie mit Kindern gesegnet wurden.” (No, I am sorry to say that my wife and I were never blessed with children.)
“Ich bin, es scheine eine Schande traurig, weil es scheint, daß Sie eine natürliche Weise mit ihnen haben.” (I am sorry; it seems a shame because it appears that you have a natural way with them.)
The infant girl now started to bounce up and down with her knees which made Logan look down to her again. When his eyes met hers the girl stopped her movement, smiled, and then crinkled her nose at him.
The mother gave out a slight laugh, “Sie wissen, glaube ich, daß sie mit Ihnen flirtet.” (You know, I believe she is flirting with you.) “Rebekah, tun das? Flirten Sie mit dem netten Mann?” (Rebekah, are you doing that? Are you flirting with the nice man?) The little girl then seemed as if she were blushing and hid her face in her hands, which drew a laugh from her mother.
Logan looked down to the little girl, “Wohles Rebekah Sarah, werde ich sehr geschmeichelt, gleichwohl ich Angst habe, daß Ihr Vater nach jeder möglicher Angelegenheit die Stirn runzeln würde, die wir beginnen würden.” (Well Rebekah Sarah, I am very flattered, however I am afraid your father would frown upon any affair we would start.) “Außerdem gehört mein Herz immer jemand anderes.” (Besides, my heart will always belong to someone else.)
The little girl then baby stepped back to her mother who then picked her up, “So holte was Sie nach Kuba?” (So, what brought you to Cuba?), she asked.
“Ich blieb rüber für einige Tage bevor I meine Reise in die Cayman-Inseln, in denen ich irgendein Geschäft leiten muß. Ich dauerte einige Zeit, das Wetter und die Einheimischen zu genießen. Sich?” (I stayed over for a few days before I my trip to the Cayman Islands where I have to conduct some business. I took some time to enjoy the weather and the locals. Yourself?) Logan told her.
“Mein Ehemann und ich entschieden, unseren Feiertag früh zu dauern, da wir nicht letztes gehen könnten Mal, weil ich mit der kleinen Prinzessin hier pregant war.” (My husband and I decided to take our holiday early since we could not go last time because I was pregant with the little princess here.) She said to him. “Wir waren zuerst in den Bahamas, dann beendeten wir gerade unseren Aufenthalt hier, wir dann gehen zu Cancun, dann nach Rio de Jenero.” (We first were in the Bahamas, then we just finished our stay here, we then will go to Cancun, then to Rio de Jenero.)
“Das klingt sehr aufregend, eine welche wundervolle Reise.” (That sounds very exciting, what a wonderful trip.) Logan said.
“Wohin gehen Sie nach Ihrem Anschlag in den Caymans?” (Where are you going after your stop in the Caymans?) She asked.
“OH-, gehe ich zurück nach Hause zu Europa. Zuerst in die Schweiz dann zurück zu meinem Haus. Ich bin dort nicht während durchaus einiger Zeit gewesen.” (Oh, I'm going back home to Europe. First to Switzerland then back to my home. I have not been there for quite some time.)
“Und wo ist Ihr Haus?” (And where is your home?) She asked.
“Frankreich, in einem kleinen Dorf, rechte Außenseite von Paris.” (France, in a small village, right outside of Paris.)
“OH- und ist daß, wo Ihre Frau jetzt ist?” (Oh, and is that where your wife is now?) She asked.
Logan looked down to the floor, he had a small smile on his face and sighed as he answered her, “Ja ist sie dort. Sie wird dort begraben.” (Yes, she is there. She is buried there.)
The mother then brought her fingertips to her lips and looked slightly embarrassed, “OH-, bin ich so traurig! (Oh, I am so sorry!)
“OH-, sorgen sich nicht mein liebes, es ist ziemlich gut. Wie konnten Sie vielleicht wissen? Sie ist für einige Jahre jetzt gegangen worden.” (Oh, do not worry yourself my dear, it is quite alright. How could you possibly know? She has been gone for several years now.) Logan said reassuring her.
“Es ist gut als Sie das über Sie und sie segnend nicht mit Kindern sagten, gut ich annahm gerade gerecht.” (It is just, well, when you said that about you and she not being blessed with children, well, I just assumed.) She said with some embarrassment.
“Brunnen dann, der es total mein fauly bildet bitte betreffen sich nicht so, es ist gut, es war meine Störung.” (Well then that makes it totally my fault, please, do not concern yourself so, it is alright, it was my fault.)
“Danke, dennoch zwar, bin ich für Ihren Verlust traurig.” (Thank you, nevertheless though, I am sorry for your loss.) She said sincerely.
“Danke, schätze ich den.” (Thank you, I appreciate that.) Logan said assuringly to her.
Just then, a man came up to the woman, tall blond haired and blue eyed. “Gekommenes jetzt liebes, werden wir in ungefähr Zwanzig Minuten verschalen.” (Come now dear, we will be boarding in about twenty minutes.) He said to her. He then reached for the child, “Gekommen zu Ihrem Papa wenig Engel.” (Come to your papa little angel.)
“Heinz, schaut es, als wenn unser kleines Mädchen ihren ersten Freund gefunden hat.” (Heinz, it looks as though our little girl has found her first boyfriend.) The woman said to him, motioning to Logan with her hand. “Sie hat Augen gebildet und mit ihm während einiger Zeit jetzt geflirtet.” (She has been making eyes and flirting with him for some time now.)
“Ist dieser zutreffende kleine Engel?” (Is this true little angel?) The man said to his little girl and then looked over to Logan, “Ist dieser junge Mann achtbar und hat er gute Absichten?” (Is this young man honorable and does he have good intentions?)
“Gut schätze ich mindestens gekennzeichnet als ein 'junger Mann'.” (Well, I appreciate being referred to as a 'young man' at least.) Logan said smiling.
The man adjusted the support of the little girl so that he could hold her with one arm and he then extended his hand to Logan, “Ich bin Heinz.” (I am Heinz.)
“Mein Name ist Logan.” (My name is Logan.) He said and took the hand of Heinz to shake it.
“Mein Gott! Wo sind meine Weise? Ich vergaß vollständig, mich vorzustellen.” (My God! Where are my manners? I completely forgot to introduce myself.) The woman said, she then extended her hand out and said, “Ich bin Helendore und Rebekah, die Sie getroffen haben.” (I am Helendore, and Rebekah you have met.)
Logan then stood and took Helendore’s hand, “Ich bin sehr erfreut, alle drei von Ihnen zu treffen.” (I am very pleased to meet all three of you.)
“Und ich bin traurig, aber ich werde die Umwerbung zwischen Ihnen und meiner kleinen Blume hier bilden müssen sehr kurz,” (And I am sorry, but I am going to have to make the courtship between you and my little flower here very short), Heinz said, then began kissing the little girl on her neck, she let out a baby giggle as he did so, “weil wir gehen müssen, unsere Fläche zu verschalen.” (because we must go to board our plane).
Helendore then reached out to her husband to take the infant girl from him. She held the child up in one arm and had her facing Logan. The little girl looked to him and smiled, she then buried her face into her mothers shoulder. “So ist was dieses? Erröten Sie kleines Mädchen?” (So what is this? Are you blushing little girl?) She then raised the child face up by her chin, “Ich glaube, daß Sie sind. Aber, wir müssen, Sagen ' Tschüß ' zu Herrn Logan jetzt gehen.” (I believe you are. But, we have to go now, say 'bye bye' to Mr. Logan). Helendore then began waving with her own hand to show Rebekah Sarah, and then the little girl looked at Logan, held her hand up, smiled, opened, and closed her hand with an infant’s wave.
Heinz then reached out his hand again to Logan and the two men shook hands again. “Es war, also nett, Sie zu treffen, hoffe ich, daß meine Tochter nicht untröstlich ist.” (It was so nice to meet you; I hope my daughter will not be heartbroken). He said humorously.
“In der Zeit bin ich sicher, daß sie über mir ist.” (In time, I am sure that she will be over me). Logan answered.
Helendore then reached out to Logan with her free hand and he gently took it in his, “Es war nette Sitzung Sie Logan. Ich bin glücklich, zu sehen, daß meine Tochter bereits einen guten Geschmack in den Herren entwickelt hat.” (It was nice meeting you Logan. I am happy to see that my daughter has already developed a good taste in gentlemen).
“Warum vielen Dank,” (Why thank you very much), Logan said, “Es war ein Vergnügen, solch eine wundervolle Familie zu treffen. (It was a pleasure to meet such a wonderful family.” Logan then waved back to the little girl, “Tschüß Rebekah.” (Bye bye Rebekah).
The little girl then smiled and buried her face into her mothers’ chest again which drew a laugh from the adults. Heinz then picked up their carry on luggage from the seats from where Helendore and the infant girl were sitting. The family once again said their good-byes to Logan and then began to make their way to their departing gate.
Logan stood and watched them all as they walked away. He thought how funny it was that people could come and go so quickly in your life and then become a part of it. Then Logan saw the little girl lift her head from her mothers shoulder and look right at him. She smiled, and then began to wave “bye-bye” to him. Logan made the clasping gesture back to her, and soon the family disappeared into the crowd.
Logan returned to his seat, he now thought of what Helendore said to him moments earlier, when she said, “It seems a shame because it appears that you have a natural way with them.” He then began to remember that night with his wife, Lily. That night, in the time before they were married. That night - - -
- - - that first Christmas Eve together in that same year. She decided to stay in Paris with him and her friends instead of going back to London with her family. She and Logan were sharing the first part of that Christmas Eve with Jean-Luc, his wife Lisette and their three children. Angela, who was seven at the time, Claudine was five, and Didier who had just turned three years of age.
Later on that evening, they were to meet with Clive and the rest of their “family” at his home above the salon.
Logan spent most of the evening at the Pontius home with both Angela and Claudine hanging on either his arms or legs; which began immediately upon his arrival. It was apparent to Lily that the two little girls were extremely fond of their “Oncle Logan”, (Uncle Logan). He spent the evening playing games with them, letting them ride on his back, and they even sat on his lap as he read “The Night Before Christmas” to them.
“It seems as if I have a little competition.” Lily said in humor to him.
The girls and boy also began to take an immediate fondness to their new “Tante Lily”, (Aunt Lily). “Elle est vrai jolie.” (She is real pretty), Claudine said aloud when she first saw Lily come into the home. Lily seemed to be enjoying herself in the company of the children, she especially enjoyed holding the toddler Didier on her lap all the while playing with, and singing to him.
The evening also had a traditional Christmas dinner and gift exchanges and they all even watched a telecast of the ballet, “The Nutcraker”. Then the hours began to grow late, for the children anyway, and at 10:30, Logan and Lily had to leave so that they could join the party that was at Clive’s. The girls wanted Logan and Lily to stay longer, but Logan reminded them that all good girls and boys needed to be in bed so that “Le Père noël”, (Santa Claus), would come to their home.
Logan and Lily said their farewells to Jean-Luc, Lisette and their family. They both then stepped out into the cold Christmas Eve night to make their way to the METRO transport bus system that would take them both to Clive’s. Once on the bus and they were seated, Lily took what was now her usual position, sitting on Logan’s right side, both her arms wrapped around his right and with her head resting on his shoulder. However, she seemed disturbed by something, and Logan began to sense it. He looked down to her and saw that she had her eyes closed, she also seemed to be holding on to his arm slightly tighter, as well as pressing her head on to his chest with a slight more pressure. She also did not speak of anything, especially about the evening they both just enjoyed together, and that was unusual for Lily.
Some ten minutes later, they both departed the bus to wait for the connecting one that would take them to the stop that was a street away from the salon. The wait was only for a few minutes, however Lily’s sudden introversion made time slow down. Logan now perceived that something was bothering her, but he was waiting for her to say something first. Then their connecting bus came and they both boarded, after they found their seats Lily then again took her usual position. Again, she chose to remain quiet, and Logan now became aware that her emotion was one of sadness.
She remained this way for the fifteen-minute ride to their stop. Once they exited, they began to make their way towards Clive’s home. As they walked, he felt as she held onto his arm just a little more tightly than usual. Finally, after they were halfway to Clive’s, Logan felt that he had to ask. “Are you alright Lil Girl? Is something wrong?”
Lily looked up to him and gave what seemed to him a strange answer, “Those little ones sure do admire you so Logan.”
“Yeah, they sure are cute aren’t they? What’s wrong sweets?”
Lily stopped walking and released his arm. She then crossed her arms and looked downward to the sidewalk. “Do you like children luv?”
He stepped in front of her, but she kept her gaze downward. “Yeah, I like kids. Why?”
“I mean do you really like children hun? Do you love children? Are … or will they be an important thing to you?”
Logan moved his face down to look at her, and he discovered that she now had tears beginning to roll down her cheeks. “I’ve really never thought about them that way. Are you asking me if I have ever thought of being a dad or something like that?”
“Yes hun. Have you ever thought of being a father?”
Logan touched her chin as raised her face up, “Why are you crying Lil Girl? What’s making you so sad?”
She took a deep breath, “It’s just that I watched how you were with Jean-Luc and Lisette’s children. You really seem to love them, and they you. You looked and acted so natural with them. You appear to have everything that a child would want in a father. I believe that you would make a great father to any child.”
Logan felt a little puzzled, “Is that what’s making you cry?” He asked as he began to wipe the tears from her face gently.
“Somewhat?”
Something then came into Logan’s thoughts, he then asked, “Lily, are you pregnant by any chance?”
A smile came to her face, however it was a smile of sadness and she answered, “No my sweet, I’m afraid that is not so. In fact, that is precisely what is causing my sadness at the moment.”
“What is it sweets? Tell me.”
She then took in a deep breath and sighed, “It seems that I too have a thing in my life that I must ‘dish out’ as you say.” She looked up to him and said, “But I must be truthful with you if we are to continue on. I need to know if children are going to be an important thing in your life. Because … you see …I cannot have children Logan. I’m sorry, but I just can’t.” She then turned her face downward to the sidewalk.
Logan thought of what she just said to him and he felt confused, he then asked, “You can’t as in ’you won’t’, or you can’t as in … you can’t?”
She looked up to him, the tears again going down her cheeks, “I can’t as in … I can’t” She then looked downward again, “Mother and I found out when I was sixteen. My plumbing works just fine and all, it’s the factory. It never opened for business. My ovaries, they don’t produce eggs.” She looked up to him, “I’m barren, and I can not ever bear children.” She then broke down crying, burying her face in his chest.
Logan embraced her and tried to give her comfort, “You poor thing, it’s okay Lil, you don’t have to cry.”
She spoke to him with her face in his chest, “Charles, he was so stupid. He actually believed that it was something that could be fixed. He was in absolute denial of the situation. He kept insisting that he would marry me and that I would bear him a son.”
“Well, old Chuck has shown himself to be an idiot many times in his life it seems.”
Lily laughed a little at that comment, “That is an understatement.”
“Well, I guess this shows that even God can make a mistake.” He said as he now stroked her hair to comfort her more.
“How do you mean?”
Logan pulled himself back from her to look at her face, “By overlooking that little glitch He gave you, He denied some little cherubs up there in heaven a chance to come down here and have to themselves one wonderful mommy.”
She looked back at him and asked seriously, “Are you sure? Are you sure this doesn’t trouble you? That I can never bear your children?”
“Of course sweetie, I am totally sure.”
“But why? I thought that every man would want to have a son so that he could do all those manly things and such. Why does this not concern you Logan?”
“Because I…” and he stopped. He was about to say something to her that he hasn’t said to anyone in over two decades.
After a few seconds of silence Lily asked, “Because you what honey?”
Logan stared at her, and he realized then what he had stopped himself from saying, he really wanted to say, he wanted to tell her. So he then said it “Because I … I love you.”
Lily was silenced by what she had just heard, and then a smile came to her face, “Oh Logan, you do?”
He nodded “yes”.
She embraced him around his neck, “Oh honey, if you only knew how much that I’ve wanted to hear you say that to me. Because you see, I love you too.” She then kissed him, long and warm. “Oh, my sadness has completely left me … I’m so happy right now at this moment.”
“So am I,” he said, “I … I’ve felt this way for awhile… I have for a long time … I didn’t think that I could tell you … I didn’t know how. I just blurted it out.”
She placed her fingers on his lips to silence him. She looked in his eyes and said, “Logan, this has turned out to be the nicest Christmas ever for me.” She then kissed him again, “I shall never forget this moment. Christmas Eve will forever be a wonderful time for me. But, come now, we must be going. Everyone is waiting for us.” - - -
- - - He looked to his wristwatch and decided that he should be making his way to his departure gate. He pondered for a moment though, remembering Lily’s concern about not being able to bear him a son and of how Charles stubbornly insisted that she would be able to have one for him, if they were ever to wed. He thought to himself of how different things would have been though if she were able to have children. That no … considering all that has gone on since he left Europe the he would not have wanted a son … rather he would have preferred a daughter.
A little girl, just like the one that the detective, David Todd, has. A little girl who half would be Lily and half would be him, only she would be everything that Lily was, only multiplied ten fold. He thought of what she would have looked like and how her personality would have been. She would have had Lily’s curly hair and dark brown eyes and every ounce of her beauty. She would have loved everybody and everything, just like her mother had.
He then thought of the untraditional “family” she would have had and how they would all have been with her. Of how her “Aunt’s” Cosette and Miriam would have doted over her, and then her thought of how it would have been with her “Aunt” Giselle … oh how she would have spoiled her. That thought brought a small laugh from him. How her “Uncle” Bricey would have taken her for ice cream, to children’s shows and things of that nature, and of which of those two would have enjoyed those times the most. And then there would have been the proud “Grandfather” Clive, he would have constantly had her sitting on his lap at the salon and teaching her how to do her dolls hair or tell her stories.
And, oh … oh how he himself would have spoiled his little daughter with dolls, dresses, parties and all of those things that little girls adore and dream of.
He then thought of what her name would have been, and that was an easy thing to figure out. He would have named her Tara Reena, after his mother and Lily’s. He then imagined himself with little Tara Reena Morrow, walking hand in hand with her around Paris, helping her with her homework, taking her to the Eiffel Tower, carrying her on his back and shoulders. He thought of how he would have been tucking her into her bed every night, kissing on her nose and face and how she would have kissed him back then would hug him around his neck saying “Good night Papa.”
“Papa,” yes, he would have preferred being called “Papa” by her. Moreover, her Papa would always be telling her what a beautiful, wonderful woman her Mama was, both on the inside and out.
He then stood and picked up his carry on bag along with his periodicals and box of cigars, then began to make his way towards his gate. He thought of how it could have been, of how things could have been so different if he and Lily had a little girl. He would have never of left France and the things that he has done over the past years would not have ever happened. The anger and guilt would have been controlled because things would have been so different knowing that something of Lily was left behind for him. Something alive, warm and beautiful as the imagined little girl now going around through his mind. He found himself even smiling to himself over the thoughts of the little daughter that never came to be.
Then another thought came to him, and his dream happiness subsided, he then thought of how it probably is best the way things were presently. Because what happens to little girls? Why, they grow up to be big girls that’s what. Then what becomes of big girls? Why, they grow into beautiful young women. In addition, with beautiful women comes handsome young men who were once somebody’s little boy. Moreover, this little boy, who is now a handsome young man, will see his grown up and beautiful little girl, and take her away from her “Papa.” Then he thought of how maybe, just maybe, this handsome young man would then take her far away with him.
If that were to happen … then his heart would be broken all over again.
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