Chapter 36
Lily was Right
(Ó 2010)
(Ó 2010)
February 2010
12:35 AM
In a Private Room of a Hospital in Paris
Early Morning
Logan sat in the dimly lit room next to the hospital bed of his good friend, Bricey Durant. Bricey lay sleeping as best he could, his emaciated body now in the final stages of deterioration due to the ravages of the AIDS/HIV virus that he had contracted five years earlier. His breathing was labored even in his sleep, all the body fat that he ever had was gone, and his body now so thin that you could make out the shape of the skull on his face. His skin was pale and transparent, also covered with blemishes and sores.
Logan sat and watched his friend dying and remembered the day he, Miriam and Cosette first heard the news of their friends’ diagnosis. He held them both tightly to comfort them, one under each arm as they wept on his chest - - -
Logan rocked them both gently in his arms, stoked their heads and answered gently, “First, we all are going to have a good hard cry for him. Then … we are going to stand, straighten ourselves up … and do what we must to take care of him. We are going to nurse him when he is sick. We are going to be with him when he is lonely. We are going to feed him when he is hungry. We are going to bring him into our homes. And when the days grow worse, we are going to clean him up when he soils himself … and we are going to sit there when his pain and anger overcome him, and let him berate us, insult us, and scream his lungs out at us. We are going to be his friends and family … because that is what friends and family do.” - - -
- - - Logan watched his friend for a few more moments, and then sat back in his chair. It was so quiet and serene at that moment. He looked out of the doorway, the light from the nurses station gently coming from down the hallway and at this hour the nurses and attendants sat at their desks and every occasionally would make their rounds to check on the patients. Logan sat back in his chair and looked up to the ceiling. He thought to himself that maybe he would try to get a little sleep. Cosette was going to be there early in the morning to take her turn at Bricey’s bedside. Logan closed his eyes and relaxed. A few moments later, he began to feel a warmth on his shoulders and right arm; this caused him to ease into a half sleep. However, the still moment was broken by the dry and labored voice of Bricey when he gently called out, “Logan?”
Logan opened his eyes, stood up next to the bed, and looked down to Bricey. Bricey’s eyes were wide and vacant, his vision now was only half of what it used to be; he breathed heavily and would swallow hard as someone would who was very thirsty. “Yes Bricey … what is it?”
Bricey swallowed and said, “I am sorry.”
“Sorry? Sorry for what Bricey?”
Bricey swallowed again, licked his dry lips and said, “I am sorry for being … such a pain in the ass … for the last couple of years.”
Logan smiled down at him, “Aw Bricey … don’t even worry about that shit. You’re my friend man.”
“I am?”
“Yes … and so are Cosette and Miriam, we’re your friends Bricey … this is what friends are for.”
Bricey panted a few more times and his eyes looked around as his head stayed motionless, he then just said, “Okay.”
Logan saw that Bricey pain seemed to increase as he spoke, he then asked, “You thirsty Bricey? You want a drink of water?”
“I do not know,” Bricey panted, “I am thirsty … but it hurts so much … when I swallow.” Logan reached for the cup with the bendable straw on the table next to the bed; he then filled it with some cold ice water. He then brought the tip of the straw to Bricey’s lips where he then to a few sips; he grimaced in pain as he swallowed the water.
Logan then set the cup of ice water back onto the table. He then watched Bricey, his eyes blinking several times, his struggle it seemed to just breathe, his tongue licking his dry, chaps lips. Bricey said nothing for a few minutes then said, “Logan?”
“Yes Bricey.” Logan answered gently.
“Lily was right.”
Logan felt confused when he heard this. “Lily was right? Right about what?”
“That I … that I have always … had a crush on you.”
Logan had a smile come to his face and even let out a small laugh. “Well I gotta tell you Bricey, in truth I’ve always known that, and I’ve always been a bit flattered.”
Bricey’s eyes kept darting around and he continued to pant as he breathed. He just answered simply with, “Okay.” He continued to do so for another couple of minutes, and then he spoke, “Logan?”
“Yes Bricey.”
“I … I am going to die … aren’t I?”
Logan was taken slightly aback with Bricey’s question. He looked down at his suffering friend and he knew that he could not … he just could not … lie to him. Logan answered gently, “Yes Bricey … you are … you are going to die.”
Bricey swallowed hard as his half-blind eyes kept darting around. He just said, “Okay.” He again said nothing for a couple of minutes, and then said, “Logan?”
“Yes Bricey.”
“I … I am so scared.”
Logan spoke gently with reassurance to him, “I know you are Bricey, but you shouldn’t be.”
“Why is that?”
“Because Lily and Clive are waiting for you there Bricey.”
“They are?”
“Yes, they are Bricey. There waiting for you … and you won’t be alone there … and you’ll never be in pain anymore my friend … you will suffer no more.”
“Really?”
“Yes … really. I promise you.”
“It is true? What your are saying … it is true?”
“Yes Bricey, what I’m saying is true.”
“How … how do you know that?”
Logan then reached over, picked up Bricey’s hand, and held it in his. He leaned over the bed, placed his other hand on Bricey’s forehead, and gently began to stroke his head. Logan moved his face close to Bricey’s and then looked right into his eyes and said, “It is true because … I am Scowls Like the Wolf of the Lakota Sioux … and my words are as true as the blood of my ancestor’s that flows through me.”
Bricey eyes kept darting around and he now wore a slight expression of confusion, “Logan?” He asked.
“Yes Bricey.”
“What does that mean?”
Logan then smiled at his dying friend and said, “Lily will explain it to you when you see her.”
Bricey stared back with his vacuous eyes and said, “Okay.”
Logan looked at Bricey with deep despair, and he thought to himself, “Damn this thing … damn this abominable disease … something like this can only come from hell. He does not deserve this … not this … not to die … like this. He’s always been a gentle boyish man and he’s never hurt anybody or anything in his life.” Logan thought of that evening in the alleyway of Le Club Argenté D'oiseau, when he came back there to see Charles bent over Bricey and threatening him. How Logan stopped Charles from hurting him. Now Logan felt so helpless, because now he could do nothing to help and protect his friend.
“Bricey?” Logan called in a whisper.
“Huh?”
“I want you to do something for me.”
“Okay.”
Logan held Bricey’s hand just slightly tighter, “I want you to close your eyes and relax. I want you to stop being frightened. I want you to try and let go of it all.”
“Okay.”
“Don’t be afraid Bricey, You’re not alone … I’m right here.”
“Okay.”
“And Bricey?”
“Huh?”
Logan now felt tightness in his throat, “I want you to just try and listen.”
“Okay.”
“That’s all I want you to do, is to try and listen … and Bricey?”
“Huh?”
Logan swallowed hard, “When you hear Lily and Clive calling to you … I just want you to go to them … Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Don’t even say anything to me … just go to them.”
“Okay.”
“I’ll be right here … don’t be scared anymore.”
“Okay.”
Bricey then closed his eyes and Logan stayed right where he was, at Bricey’s bedside holding his hand and stroking his head. In a short time, Logan noticed that Bricey’s breathing was starting to become less labored. As each minute passed Bricey seemed more relaxed and his breathing growing slower and less arduous. Bricey than opened his eyes slightly, his head turned a little away from Logan, he then said very quietly, “Huh? … Okay.” Bricey’s eyes closed … his breathing then ceased. Logan then felt as the slight grip that Bricey had on his hand … slowly wilted … then went completely flaccid.
“Good-bye Bricey.” Logan said looking down to his friend. Logan then placed Bricey’s hand on his chest and let it go. He then stroked Bricey’s hair one more time, and then turned to exit the room to inform the nurses. He looked quickly to the clock on the wall.
It was 1:30 AM.
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